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Sunshine Rain

by Surrounded In Solitude

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1.
First love Do you remember those twilight morns? Where the stone met the earth? Where my words met with yours? 'Cause I do Lord knows I do Oh the ways that we grew Underneath that twilight sky We were just kids Forced to grow up too soon We were just kids But I knew that I loved you We were just kids Did that silver ring grow heavy on your hand? From our dejecting curses? From the grieving waters pouring from our voids? If I could go back Would I have been enough to bury all our lamentations? Would you have stayed? Could you say? (Frozen tongues laced our bones) (You built your tomb inside my home) (Pink ice left me in the cold) (Our lonely bones have grown so old) Nostalgia Have you missed those boundless glacial Winter nights Wistfulness When our language breathed into the entropy? Do you miss the way our fragile Shapes fit skin to skin? 'Cause I was scared of what you'd think But I still let you in And now.. You can't hear me now My xanthous rays Were eclipsed by your sweetest shadows And now they've left me in the dark I tried to love you the best I could But I heard the passion die in your words Oh twilight love I tried so hard But I let you down Were we meant to live this any other way? Meant to mend our heartaches? Meant to nest into the magic of our times? If I could go back Would you be the same as all your ways inside my memory? Would you (You snapped my heart in twain) Have stayed? (Lost my voice in the pain) If I had changed? (Frozen arms held your bones) (I built my tomb inside your home) (Green eyes hung me in the cold) (From balcony poles and poems untold) Reminisce How my life broke down in your chilling reticence Pensiveness When you collapsed into the entropy I still miss the way our hands perfectly intertwined A part of me will always be in those days of our lives But now.. You can't hear me now Haunted by your words That I was "too fucked up to be loved" At the cusp of my darkest days I felt myself sinking into the black I begged and I begged and I begged I begged you love to pull me up But you let me down, you let me down
2.
BOO: TD 04:36
Mystic melodies in time Elevate my conscious mind In your cosmic elegance I knew What it was to feel alive With your harmonic wisdom I'll Never go back (never go back) Stitch myself into the design Of this kaleidoscopic life Realize All this time No matter the sting from the blade of the age I had what it took to survive
3.
To a vibrant, kind young soul Who paint my heart in streaks of gold, I know I Could only brush with hues of gloom Around your amber bellflower in budding bloom Do you know how bright you shine? Have you seen the trail of light you leave behind? 'Cause your luminance still warms my worn outline I know that some days you're not always your best I know that sometimes you find yourself in the nothingness But know this my gentle soul You're worth all the world And all of the love you hold It's invaluable And the beautiful way you are Will always make you whole in the end You will always be my friend I know that some days it's hard to find your place I know that sometimes you get lost in all the empty space But know this my gentle soul You're worth all the world And all of the love you hold It's invaluable And Emma I swear I know When your father looks down on you He couldn't be more proud
4.
5.
I saw the leaves of Fall in the midst of it all Caper with the sighing breeze and endless cedar seas, it bleeds With evergreens, with verdant galaxies seamlessly weaved 'Tween midnight strands, abyssal onyx streams Burnished blossom browns they bury me In a deep ravine of soothing oxytocin fleece Shifting weight, I can't escape, embrace the melting cold The blaze within burned the reaper's somber hold Oh midnight star How your eyes bring my heart to my throat Shadowed umbra, phantom anima Below Nostalgic ecstasy for olive skin I crave the way your hands felt placed below my chin Sweet sixteen and seventeen I know that We were only kids, but your lips felt Like the comely Hiraeth home, a love I'd somehow always known And it's so strange, the way your ways Ensnared the vibe of the age, like lantern Flames cry out to a confined space In the endless depths of a haunted place, I could Taste the peaceful rest that I had sought for for so long, the Keter Sphere, the Ain Soph Aur, the night owl's mystic heartbreak song But I may never know what it was about they way that you were That stole its way to untouched fathoms and caused the waters to stir Or why the nightfall tress and chestnut depths were the psychic archetype To a magnum opus that I'd search for in the moonless dead of night You had me stargazing Constellating Unfurling waves In fervent shades But was it anything to you? Did the moments move you too? Or was the symphony all in my head? Did the aches begin to fade? And the nightmares drift away? Could you see the light up ahead? I fell in love with the searing cold I fell so hard for those days of old I fell into waterfalls of blue I fell apart waiting here for you Here for you Stargazing Was it worth saving? Unfolding days In sober shades But was I good enough for you? 'Cause with a single look I knew I would never be the same I gave my all and more for you, even though I was afraid But I can't help but feel I'm to blame I fell in love with the loveless cold I fell so hard for those words untold I fell into regrets and distant views I choked and gasped waiting here for you It was you Always you Though those Autumn eves have wilt with the trees Blossoms of brown will always take me back You are the light before the rain You are the life inside my veins; the galaxies inside my brain You are the start, you are the end, you're all the love I had to give And oh I wish, I wish, I wish I'd told you How much I loved you then Midnight tress and chestnut depths Were the best that happened to me Heartbreak burnished blossom browns So dark that I couldn't see "Too fucked up to be loved" I could See the look in your eyes Every moment felt like home with you But I was left here to die
6.
TAA: CG 05:54
The Autumn breeze blew withered leaves Around my shrinking slender frame These were the years, these were the years That I would never be the same Melodic hums and double time drums Blared heartache through my ears Synesthetic euphonies Alleviated all my fears Bleeding lines and suicide Muted nights and silent tears Oh brother don't you get it now? You're the reason I'm still here So when the night bears down on me I won't be chasing ghosts, 'cause I've set them free There's no ghost left to haunt me Your heartfelt words have burned their way Into every fabric of my being Your kindness and humanity Spark a fire in the lines I'm screaming The bittersweet, Winter forest beats The soundtrack to my sentimental years Oh how they've persevered Bondi songs and flowerbombs Will always be a part of me 'Cause despite all the torment The bitterness and grief The beatings and reasons not to stay Despite the bloodstained blades The ropes I've hanged And tears that fell for years I am still here
7.
To a saffron star from worlds beyond Whose name I never knew November nights, and December days Was I too much for you? Sweet undertow, where did you go? You were my Sun, that shined in the snow Why was it so hard to say that you loved me Without poison in your blood, or smoke between your teeth? Monochromatic Words lost their meaning in your cinereous wells Monochromatic Did I mean a thing to you because I couldn't tell Frozen sunshine Frozen sunshine
8.
Blue-haired friend Oh how things have changed I wish you all the world I miss you more with every day Blue-haired friend I know you longed for death But I hope that you know I'm so glad that you stayed Words won't ever be able to convey What it meant for you to be there for me I'm so glad you stayed Should you ever find yourself Slipping low again Please don't let yourself forget Of all the good you've done, my wonderful friend Words won't ever be able to portray How proud I am that you're still here today Blue-haired friend I'm so glad you stayed
9.
December air kissed the crypt that I called home Beloved absentee, how your deep hypnotic gaze leaves me Within your cedar webs and nostalgic evergreens I had hoped that you might becalm the noise The way you did on that cold Autumnal night It was such a gentle squeeze The haunting way that your voice adorned the breeze But those burnished blossom browns bury me In an era of innocent, sweet mystery In a love that speaks in 12-string galaxies Because of you, I saw the best in me, But now I can't pretend 'Cause the rope was the only one that Held me in the end With the songs I left unsung The threaded hand of death coaxed the air out from my lungs Its bruising hold a doleful soothing cold Embellished webs of red Didn't believe the words you said The canticle of silence dimmed the light Inside my grieving head Would it all been different had I spoken to a friend? Would it have ever changed a thing? Would it save me from the bitter, lonely dead? I tried to live this life the best I could In the stilling winds you can always find me In your satyr dreams and all the in-betweens I couldn't bear to see you go But burnished blossoms left me buried down below With the words I left unsaid She found me hanging there, green eyes around my neck With hurtful lies I heard from shadowed skies Did it hurt you so? To see your baby sinking into the undertow? Did you finally get it? I was in so much pain I just couldn't stay October air kissed my lips, it felt like home But first love, you made me feel like I was all alone 'Cause I was alone I had always been alone And I knew, like this I wouldn't survive And if I wanted to live, this part of me would have to die With my teenage years, with those days of our lives And it ripped my heart to fucking shreds To watch all I loved fade to echoes in my head I was just a kid scared of losing all my friends But in those burnished blossom browns I saw everything Oh how it haunts me so I will never forget that year in the afterglow "Too fucked up to be loved" Would you have stayed? Had I changed? First love Can't hear me now As the rope takes me home

about

This record is very near and dear for me. It details my life as it was in the year 2012, when I was a suicidal seventeen year old kid. The record's about letting go; letting go of loved ones who have, for quite some time, been absent from your life. The general theme is that of catharsis, of being able to speak the words you wished you could have said then. More information about it can be found on the Surrounded In Solitude Facebook Page. For now, I present to you -- Sunshine Rain!

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released April 26, 2020

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Surrounded In Solitude Winter Springs, Florida

Surrounded In Solitude was created by Stephen Bridges of Winter Springs, FL in August 2012.

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